Hewwo (:

anonymous or not.

GO!

I feel like my relationship was falling apart. I can’t do anything right. <|3

Tomorrow is never promised. It’s just a hopeful gleam in our eyes. And when we make it to tomorrow, be thankful. Someone wasn’t as fortunate as you. Someone couldn’t meet the day ahead.

It sucks that I’ve had to learn this in the past week because of a best friend passing. I will learn to not take every day for granted.  I will not succumb to petty bullshit. It sucks that this all happened because of stupid lesbian drama. Learn to grow up. Learn to make your own choices, not let someone make them for you. I never want to be in another funeral home attending the funeral of a friend. I just won’t. I cannot BEGIN to imagine how I could handle it then.

I will, however, do everything in my power to hang out with friends more. I wish I had made more plans to see her. I wish I just showed up on her doorstep. She was the only friend I could call and she would be here in an instant because she lived closer than most. She was the one who wanted to hang around me when I was pregnant, and no one else wanted to. But I made excuses. I made excuses as to why I couldn’t when I clearly would. I wasn’t the best friend I could have been.

And maybe that’s why I’ve been beating myself up a lot. I feel a lot of emotions.  Up and down. More of the down feelings than I do up. I honestly wish I could have taken the time to make sure we didn’t have that fight that left us not talking for three months. I missed you then, and I miss you now.

I can’t guarantee that this will be the last post from me for a while, but I can guarantee that this will be the last time I’m on here for a few days. I need to stay in touch with the real world. I need to take time out of my petty bullshit of a life to take time for my family.

I promise you. If they let either of your killers free, I will fucking kill them myself.

This DID NOT need to happen to you.